Neil, friendship lost and personal growth

Posted on January 15, 2012 by mike

Pictured below, Neil during one of our happy video chats being silly and charming.

 

This blog post was first composed on January 15, 2012, approximately 73 days or 2 months, 12 days since I lost my closest and dearest best friend (pictured above) on November 3, 2011. I am going to try to do my best to be as balanced as possible in explaining what happened. You will see me at not my best, but I wish to be fair. Like another blog posting of a few months ago, this might be a bit lengthy. For those mentioned in this posting, should they read it, I hope they will post their reply, corrections or rebuttal to what I am about to say.

Let me start off with explaining the kind of friendship I had with Neil. It was an extremely close one. We had many of the same interests, whether it be computers, games, museums, movies, or music (his musical interests are much more varied). Our personalities were very similar and we seemingly cared about each other, as friends very much. We sought each other out for advice, shared our highs and lows and had some great adventures together. It all started when I visited my parents and aunt on October 30, 2011. I had just come back from the Out and Equal Workplace Summit (O & E) in Dallas, TX. I was quite energized telling them all about what happened at the summit. During the summit, I told Neil about various small things that happened, but not in a lot of detail. I came home from my aunt’s house and with the details fresh in my mind I wanted to talk to Neil. I texted Neil asking if we could talk about O & E and he said he heard it all and didn’t want to talk to me. This made me feel hurt. Sensing how I felt, he tried to lighten the mood by texting me saying he was seeing a movie (forget which one) and that I would like it followed by a smiley face. Being hurt, I decided to not talk to him for a few days just like he did to me two weeks earlier. Not realizing it at the time, this was the biggest mistake I ever made. He texted and messaged me a couple of times over the next few days with no reply from me. I figured he’d realize I was upset and ask why, like most people would do. The last message I got from him was on November 3 at 12:08 PM basically saying “hi.” I had intended to reply back to him but by the time I saw the message he was offline. Later that day I discovered that he blocked me from Facebook, Twitter, Xbox Live, Foursquare, instant messenger, etc. Realizing that he wasn’t going to ask why he was getting the silent treatment, I tried calling him to explain, only to be sent to voicemail. I figured like times past, this will blow over. A few days later I texted and e-mailed him apologizing for my actions as I truly did overreact. This was met with silence. On November 9th I went into New York City to get training by Microsoft. In an attempt to lighten the mood and smoothing things over I shared this with him as I do with anything interesting (as he did with me) only to be met with more silence. On the trip home, I tried calling him only to yet again be sent to voicemail. I was completely perplexed. His reaction seemed, to me, to be disproportionate to what caused this situation to begin with. His boyfriend Mark did not want to get involved, but he was nice enough to tell me that Neil still cares but did not want to talk to me. When I got home, I tried calling again, just asking for a five minute conversation, but it went to voicemail and no response to the message I had left. In yet another attempt to smooth things over, I sent Neil a Thanksgiving gift basket. It was really nice. It had all kinds of cheeses and meats in it. Unlike other times, I got no acknowledgement from him. No thank you or anything. It was only a few days later in talking to Mark that I knew he got it.

A few weeks later (November 29th), in an attempt to find out what happened, I talked to a mutual friend of Neil & I, who I will keep anonymous in an attempt to protect the friendship that we have. This individual explained to me that I was taking a toll on Neil socially. To be honest, I do not know how I, someone who is over 650 miles away, can be taking a toll on someone socially, but apparently I was. At least I went from having no clue to having some idea what was going on. I texted Neil (and Mark) telling him that in an attempt to repair things, I will give him some space. Mark throughout all of this did not want to get involved (in retrospect, I understand why). He remained optimistic that Neil and I would work things out. He even once said he is never wrong. He advised me that what pushed Neil away was my forced (or over) communication. At least now I had a truly clear way as to why Neil was acting this way. My communication with Neil was not any more voluminous than when it was when things were fine and his volume to me appeared to be about the same. Mark further advised me that my trying to communicate with Neil will only push him away further and he would shut down. I knew he was right. I know Neil well.

As the holidays were approaching, I sent Neil a Christmas card and a check. The card said the following, “Dear Neil, While it is up to you if we will have future adventures together, I want to thank you for the friendship, caring support and most importantly, love you have given me. I look back at the many memories we’ve had and I smile. It is the gift from you that keeps on giving. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season. Love you lots, Michael.” I purposely did not put a return address on the card so that he would open it instead of just ripping it up sight unseen. On December 19th I found out from Mark that he got the card and intended to donate the money to an HIV/AIDS organization called Positive Link run by Indiana University. I texted Neil to say that I heard he was going to donate the money. For the first time in seven weeks he responded to me. Unfortunately I could not talk to him at that moment because I was at a work function, but my card and space must’ve had some kind of impact. Driving home I called him and got his voicemail, while trying to leave a message the call waiting beeped. Since I don’t know how to handle call waiting while driving (hands free) I hung up and tried to answer the phone, but couldn’t figure out how. I called him back and left him a voicemail telling him how sweet it was of him. When I got home, I saw that the incoming call was from him. I got very excited (possibly too excited). Via text message I asked him if we could talk. He said he was at a work holiday function hosted by his VP and that we would talk tomorrow. Keep in mind I had very vivid dreams over the last several weeks about him talking to me only to realize when waking up what the true reality was. I was overwhelmed with emotion and was basically balling my eyes out. I called up my good friend Alex who has provided me with nothing but unyielding patience and support. I was nervous as to what Neil had to say to me, but Alex was there for me. The next day came and not realizing how fragile things were, I texted Neil saying that I was a little nervous about our upcoming conversation. I got no reply. At around 5:03 that evening I called Neil and it went to voicemail and left him a three minute message. I tried two more times, but AT&T being what it was, I got a message stating the call didn’t go through. I do not know how or why it registered as around 12 attempts, but somehow on Neil’s phone it did. I showed Mark the logs but he did not believe me. One thing Neil and Mark do know is that I do not lie. The image from the log is below it is cropped to remove personal information such as Neil’s phone number.

Early on January 1st (10 days after my last attempt at communication with him) I e-mailed Neil the following, “I really would like to start 2012 off right with you. I would like to be your friend again. If given the opportunity, I will be a better one than I have. It will be a new years resolution (my only one) that I intend to keep. If you haven’t yet, I hope you get my second Christmas gift soon. Your friend, Mike” For those wondering, I didn’t make any other resolutions because let’s be honest, who really keeps them? My 2nd Christmas gift to him was that I had a tree planted in Israel in his honor. I had done something similar in memory of his father when he had passed. Six hours later, the following transpired (my texts are the ones in green):

I then e-mailed my mom the above conversation that we had as illustrated above. Her reply was that she was “shocked and disappointed in Neil.” I then forwarded that e-mail to Neil and I got the following reply to me:

That would be the last I would hear from Neil as of this blog posting. I do not know what “immoral things” I have done. I’ve asked others who know me well and they are as dumbfounded as I am. In my reply to the above, I told him that I still do not really understand and that he should calm down and relax and we should talk since texting is a poor form of communicating things like this. I then reiterated stating that all I truly knew (other than what Mark had said to me above) was that I was mildly miffed about him not wanting to hear about Dallas. My final text to him, which I admit was not so nice, said, “You are afraid, scared, terrified to talk to me on the phone. I have now accepted the current situation but I accept it knowing you are a coward. Good bye.” That was my last communication to Neil. It was the only time I really got pissy or hostile to him in all of this (other than saying that he was irrational).

As I mentioned, Mark did not want to be in the middle of this, yet, to my discredit, in retrospect I acted badly. I was a bit manipulative in that I did get Mark involved and I slowly pushed him away as a friend. I greatly regret my actions. He put me on a Facebook “restricted” list. On January 2, Mark, in no uncertain terms wished that I no longer contact him. I understand this and if I was in his position I would have certainly done the same. He is Neil’s boyfriend. I was not a good person. I can only hope that at some point in the future Mark will let me be his friend again.

I do know that deep down in Neil’s heart he still cares. Whether or not we will ever be friends again will be up to him. While this was not all that long ago, I do know that from what has happened, I have grown as a person. I did over-communicate and I need to relax a bit. I have indeed adjusted to not having what was once my closest and best friend, who we once thought of each other as soul mates in my life. I have changed my interactions with my other friends so that I do not have a repeat of what happened here.

For those who read this blog post all the way through, I hope your opinion of me will not be diminished, but this is who I am. Like everyone, I hope to continue my personal development and be a better person to those that know me.

Posted in Friends, Life, Mark, Me, Neil, Personal, Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Yes, Virginia…As Told By My MacBook Pro

Posted on December 11, 2011 by mike

I know I’m Jewish, but I’m also a bit of a geek (shocking, I know).  Here is Francis Pharcellus’s famous editorial as spoken by my Core i7 MacBook Pro.

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Out & Equal 2011

Posted on November 25, 2011 by mike

I didn’t want this blog to turn into a “Mike’s illness” blog, so I figure I’d post the trip report I had sent to my management from this year’s Out & Equal 2011 Workplace Summit.  The trip report is below this video album I created (a very talented member of the Merck Rainbow Alliance took the photos) featuring some of my fellow attendees from the MRA, plenary speakers and one or two from Eli Lilly (mostly because they had Merck alumnus, Kar-Chan “Casey” Choong) are included as well.  If you want to find out more about employee diversity at Merck, check out this link.


Out & Equal 2011 Trip Report
October 24-28, 2011

From October 24, 2011-October 28, 2011 I attended the Out & Equal Workplace Summit in Dallas, TX at the Hilton Anatole.  There were over 2,600 attendees representing the majority of the Fortune 100 companies.  Merck had its largest representation yet with 23 members, including two from the sales force and one from TeleRX.  While there, I attended several workshops such as, “Coming out in Faith:  Four generations’ Experiences”, “The Impact of Healthcare Reform On The LGBT Community”, “Who is LGBT? and how do we measure the closet?”, “LGBT Support in the fight against HIV/AIDS”, “Identifying, building and developing an LGBT pipeline of rising stars” and “Understanding the New Generic Top-Level Domains (gTLD) Coming to the Internet, Including .Gay.”  This year, our executive sponsor, Mike Thien (SVP Global Science) attended the last two days of the conference.

On October 25th, the opening plenary featured Kathy Martinez, Assistant Secretary for Disability Employment Policy who discussed President Obama’s policy advances for not only the LGBTQ community, but for those with disabilities.  After Ms. Martinez, Sander van’t Noordende who is the Group Chief Executive of Accenture spoke about coming out at work.  One takeaway from his speech is to find a mentor to connect with, take a risk at least once a week, but go at your own pace.  He also reminded everyone that diversity and equality go together.  Next Andy Cohen who does the programming at Bravo TV discussed the growing number of characters who are LGBTQ as well as the many actors who are comfortable with whom they are.  Andy then interviewed Candis Cayne, one of the first transgender actors to come out and discuss her transition.  She then sang I Am A Woman (I recorded a small snippet found at http://youtu.be/Q-bA_NCpLKg).  I then attended a workshop, “Coming out in Faith:  Four generations’ Experiences” conducted by Dr. Susan Gore.  The workshop examined how different generations dealt with coming out as LGBTQ or as an Ally.  Participants from the four generations (Baby Boomer, Generation X, Generation Y and Millennial) discussed their experience.  Dr. Gore also discussed the “movable middle” which may initially be against the idea of equality and rights for LGBTQ until better educated on the issue.  The next seminar I attended was, “The Impact of Healthcare Reform On The LGBT Community.”  This seminar basically reviewed the national healthcare plan and briefly discussed that it is still legal in twenty-nine states to fire someone because of their sexual orientation.  They also mentioned that due to a reluctance to answer research questions about same-sex sexual behavior, it is hard to get an understanding of the health needs of the LGBTQ population.  That evening Merck, Pfizer, Genentech and Bristol-Meyers Squibb sponsored a well-attended pharmaceutical networking event at the Radisson.  This event allowed for a cross-pollination of how the different pharmaceuticals operate their ERGs (Employee Resource Groups) in an informal setting.

October 26th, the plenary featured Rick Welts, who is the president of the Golden State Warriors.  Rick discussed what it was like to come out in a field that is generally hostile to those who are LGBTQ.  He explained that he was very surprised at the positive response he got from his co-workers before the story broke in the New York Times.  After Rick’s speech, actress Meredith Baxter (from “Family Ties”) spoke.  She discussed what it was like to come out on national television on the Today Show.  After the plenary I attended two seminars.  The first, entitled, “Who is LGBT? And how do we measure the closet?”  This was a panel discussion featuring Masen Davis from the Transgender Law Center, Gary Gates who is a Williams Distinguished Scholar and Brian McNaught who is an author and corporate diversity trainer focusing on LGBTQ issues.  The panel discussed that we will never really know the true percentage of LGBTQ people because there are a lot of places such as Iran who would never feel comfortable coming forth to tell.  Based on surveys and other research, the general consensus is that between 5-10% of the population is LGBTQ, however, the average American thinks that 25% of the population is LGBTQ.  The estimated population is somewhere between 9-26 million Americans.  Age eleven is the mean age of recognition for sexual orientation awareness.  Orientation, behavior, and identity are the three components of sexuality.  Homosexuality exists in every species of mammal.  The panel then proceeded to go over a lot of other statistics based on surveys and research.  I then attended, “LGBT Support in the fight against HIV/AIDS” which was conducted by four people in which two of them were from Merck (Mike Perillo, HR Leader, Finance and Kevin Fannin, Manager, Portfolio Management MRL).  The panel discussed the “four pillars” which are perspective, power, purpose, and people.  This was an interactive workshop in which statements were put up on the walls and you picked one and explained how the four pillars affected you.  The one I picked had to do with that HIV/AIDS was no longer a concern since it’s not in the news.  With my recent diagnosis, I explained how my perspective has changed as recently as a few weeks ago.  This workshop was probably the one I got the most out of and led me to post a very personal entry on my personal blog and Facebook (using the pillar of audience “power”), which can be classified under the “purpose and people” pillars in the hopes that it changes the perspective of others (you can find the posting at http://starthan.net/blog/index.php/2011/10/28/how-we-have-progressed/).  I wrote this post while still at Out & Equal.

October 27th began with our seminar sessions.  The first seminar I attended was, “Identifying, building and developing an LGBT pipeline of rising stars” which discussed recruiting diverse employees into your organization.  One point made is that you want to have a social environment to attract members, but it has to be a good mix, not just centered on bars and drinking.  You should have family friendly events so that you can have more inclusive events.  Another suggestion was that coming out day could also be about coming out as an ally. One thing that can be done is passing out cards in coffee rooms and break rooms about coming out as an ally.  With support and sustainability, you have to understand the culture and needs of the individual, business and ERGs. Rewards should be optimized in all of their forms.  Another thing to keep in mind is that not everyone is out in every circumstance.  You may be out at work, but not necessarily with a client.  The final seminar I attended was, “Understanding the New Generic Top-Level Domains (gTLD) Coming to the Internet, Including .Gay.”  The discussion focused on the many new TLDs that are being created (an example of a TLD is .com or .edu) and .gay is in the review process by ICANN.  There are approximately 300-500 new TLDs coming in the next few months.  The company who will own the .gay domain, is a for-profit company, however, 67% of the profits will go back to the GLBT community.  One of the hurdles in getting the domain is religious groups objecting.  As part of the “objection” process, there is a fee of $15,000 for both the objector and the defendant.  There will be clear guidelines as far as who can use the .gay domain.  For example, anti-gay groups will not be allowed to use it nor will adult sites.  The idea behind the domain is to give the community a unified voice on the internet.  Large corporations would also benefit from the domain because they can use it for targeted web sites and marketing that would be focused on the community (think crixivan.merck.gay), which can allow for more accurate metrics for the products or message that they are trying to convey.  The domains themselves would be inexpensive at $100 a year.  The afternoon plenary featured the outgoing chairman of JC Penney who discussed the importance of diversity within his organization.  Following him, Donna Brazille, who is one of the leaders of the Democratic party, spoke on how things have changed but how you need to continue to defend those changes since there are those who wish to turn back the clock on change.  On the evening of the 27th was the gala awards dinner.  It started off with a fashion show from JC Penney.  The dinner’s Master of Ceremonies was comedienne Kate Clinton.  Among the speakers that evening was Wes Bush, the CEO of Northrop Grumman and Ft. Worth City Councilman, Joel Burns.  Prior to dinner, a highlight video, which featured some Merck people, was played on the big convention monitors (video can be found at the following link and I can be found at 0:19 and 0:22–http://youtu.be/OcwADtdeffQ).  Following dinner, comedienne Margaret Cho performed as did actor Wilson Cruz.

Our final day in Dallas, October 28th featured a morning MRA meeting on the 27th floor of the Hilton.  In attendance was Mike Thien, our executive sponsor.  Topics discussed were our “It Gets Better” video, how the Steering Committee can better engage its membership and how our executive sponsor can be a better liaison between the ERG and the company as well as be a voice in the business justification of the MRA.

Like last year, I found the convention to be both educational and enlightening.  What I enjoyed the most was talking to individuals from other companies and getting their viewpoints and how their ERGs operate.  Since this year I was fortunate to meet some individuals from our sales force, it allowed me to further develop a greater non-IT network of Merck people, plus catch up with people whom I may have not spoken to in over a year.

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How We Have Progressed

Posted on October 28, 2011 by mike

This blog entry is very lengthy, but I kindly ask ALL of my Facebook friends to PLEASE READ.
Many of you may remember Pedro Zamora. Pedro was on the third season of “The Real World.” He contracted HIV which, back in the early 90′s was a death sentence. His courage was inspirational. Pedro died of AIDS in 1994 but he educated us all. Please take a few minutes to watch this video.

James McClarty-Lopes has been living with HIV for over 10 years. He is a chef and an athlete. I can’t embed his video, but please take a look. His attitude and the fact that he is living a very full, healthy life is an inspiration.

At the 2011 Out & Equal Workplace Summit, I met two gentlemen who are HIV positive. One has been living with it for 27 years and the other for 25. They are healthy and living good lives.

Today HIV is not a death sentence. It doesn’t mean you are doomed to get AIDS. It is considered a treatable, chronic disease that is no different than if you were diagnosed with diabetes. We have progressed far. This doesn’t mean we need to be complacent.

  • There still is no cure for HIV, those infected will have it for the rest of their life.  Remind your friends and family of this fact.
  • We must continue to raise awareness like we once did.
  • Tell your friends, whether they be straight, gay or bi to always be safe.
  • Cross-post this blog entry on Facebook and Twitter. Have them watch the videos.

For many years I had psoriasis and in late May 2011, I finally made an appointment with the dermatologist, but because of being short staffed, they couldn’t take me until August 10th. I will get back to this in a little bit. In early June 2011 I got what I thought was a very bad gum infection to the point where I had all the symptoms of the flu. For those who know me, I almost never get sick. My school mates might recall that I rarely was absent. On June 6, the day after I walked in the Asbury Park pride parade, I was rushed to the hospital with a 103 degree fever. I was so sick, I had to be in a wheelchair. St. Peters did a great job and got my fever down a few hours later, but I was sick for weeks. Once I recovered, I developed Bell’s Palsy. Having the right side of your face paralyzed was very frightening. It was like I had a stroke. Eating was physically exhausting for me and whatever I ate, I could not taste. I also had diarrhea and almost no energy. I often went home sick or simply too tired to keep working. The Bell’s subsided after eleven days and I made a full recovery. The diarrhea continued and I started to have a lot of pain, as if I had a hemorrhoid.

On August 1st I was going to Las Vegas with my friends and I wasn’t going to let anything stop me from going. I can live with the diarrhea and pain, but I still didn’t have a normal energy level. A few days before my trip, I noticed that my skin was getting these little dots on it and the big patch of psoriasis on my right calf went almost around my whole leg. I was concerned about what they were, but since I was going to the dermatologist in a few days, it wasn’t a big deal. The trip was fun, despite the pain and low energy levels. I saw the dermatologist and they said that the breakout all over my body was psoriasis. The treatment for the kind of psoriasis is a drug called Enbrel. The problem with Enbrel is that it weakens your immune system, so I had a battery of tests done. My liver and kidney functions are fine nor do I don’t have hepatitis, herpes or syphilis. What they didn’t like was my western blot test. It came back with an inconclusive result. For those that do not know, the western blot checks for HIV. Having a “balanced” result as the doctor put it, doesn’t mean that I have HIV, just that there is some kind of antibody in my immune system. Thinking that I just had a gum infection, this makes sense. My body still had the antibodies from fighting that off. As a precaution, my dermatologist recommended that I see an infectious disease doctor to get a more comprehensive set of tests to check my immune system.

I was an emotional basket case, as my friends and co-workers can attest. For those that are my friends on Facebook, you may recall that I posted some rather cryptic Facebook status messages about tests.  I was very scared, thinking that I could die.

I went to the infectious disease doctor and he explained to me that goodness forbid that I am positive, that I won’t die and that it is a treatable disease, no worse than someone having diabetes.  It’s just simply a chronic illness.  While this made me feel better, the specter of having HIV still scared me.  I thought, what if I did have it?  With the layoffs at work, I’ll never find another job again.  No one in my right mind would insure me (I recently found out this is illegal).  How would my friends, family and co-workers react?  Would I get an “I told you so” lecture, will my parents cry?  Will my co-workers be afraid to sit near me or have a munchkin or bagel after I did?  With the way I was feeling physically, I thought, “do I not have HIV, but AIDS?”

I went for the blood test and for over a week I thought about these things.  Thanks to my wonderful best friend and others (but how Neil put up with me will forever be a mystery) , my mind was continuously put at ease.  My physical symptoms were not getting much better.  I was constantly getting up several times at night to go to the bathroom and the psoriasis continued to spread.  Finally it was the day of my appointment.  I was mentally prepared to be told that beyond a reasonable doubt that I was HIV positive.

I was right.

The doctor, like pulling off a bandage, told me that I indeed am HIV positive.  He then showed me the ten or so tests in which a vast majority said “positive.”  My heart sank.  He then proceeded to explain that it was caught early.  He went on to state that my liver and kidneys are all functioning normally.  I do not have toxoplasmosis.  I do not have any form of hepatitis, syphilis or tuberculosis.  He then stated that my viral load is quite low and my CD 4 count is high (that’s a good thing).  He said he sees no reason why my HIV cannot be completely suppressed.  He put me on a medication called Atripla, which are three medicines combined into one.  While I may work for Merck, I am thankful to the folks at Bristol-Meyers Squibb and Gilead for making this medication.  The worst side effect are a rash and scary dreams, which is why they say to take it at night.

How did my friends, co-workers and family react?  One member of the Merck Rainbow Alliance jumped back and looked at me like I was a leper before catching their self (and I wasn’t surprised by this one person’s reaction).  Other than that, my friends, co-workers and family reacted with caring and support.  No “I told you so” and my co-workers have treated me no differently than they have before.  I am also very thankful to have a very supportive boss who has allowed me the great flexibility of time to go see my various doctors.  I truly have the best boss in the world with Mike Landsman.

I have been lucky, no scary dreams, just vivid ones that makes sleeping fun.  After 2½ weeks taking Atripla, my diarrhea has gone away and thanks to a combination of another drug and lightbox treatments, my psoriasis is slowly fading and the chicken pox-like itching has become only a distant memory.  A recent follow-up visit to the doctor reaffirmed my very, very good prognosis with my illness.  He thinks that at the rate I am going, my viral load may drop to undetectable levels and that I may even be able to take the immune-whacking Enbrel.  There is no reason why I can’t live to be a very old man.

There you have it, as promised, “my big announcement.”  If you did read this almost 1,500 word blog posting, I thank you.  I want to use my experience with HIV as a lesson.  I am very open about it and please, feel free to ask me questions, whether it be on my web site or in the comments section of the Facebook cross-posting and re-post!

 

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Big Announcement

Posted on October 20, 2011 by mike

In a week or two, keep an eye out for a very personal blog post about what I have been going through over the last few months. Some may recall that I was very worried about some tests. I’ll be explaining that in the posting.

Meanwhile I have had some interesting adventures. In August I went to Las Vegas for Defcon 19 and had a good time. My best friend Neil gave an excellent talk on cryptography and steganography. In mid October I went to Indianapolis to visit Neil and Mark. I had a wonderful time seeing the city, Neil’s new apartment, his new car and my friend and ex-coworker, Casey. Next week I’m off to Dallas for Out & Equal which should be a lot of fun.

Click on the picture to get the non-cropped version.

20111022-071602.jpg

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A New Post!

Posted on July 24, 2011 by mike

Yes, I haven’t posted anything since November.  I plan to change that.  I’m off to Defcon in about a week and I’ll endeavor to post about my experience.  In the meantime, check out one of my favorite technology shows, Tekzilla.  Also, today is my best friend, Neil’s birthday.  Happy birthday Neil!

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Indiana, Our Indiana

Posted on November 7, 2010 by mike

Spending the first weekend of November visiting my best friend in Indiana. I have been having a great time. We went to The Comedy Attic on Friday and saw some great comedians. Yesterday I went to my first IU football game. Unfortunately Iowa beat IU in a nail biter of a game, but it wasn’t a blowout like everyone feared. Right now I am unsure what we’re going to do today, but just spending time with my best friend is all I can ask for.

On another note, I added a Google Latitude widget to my sidebar. Anyone reading this on Facebook should go to my blog at www.starthan.net to know what I am talking about.

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Why Can I Own A Mexican But Not A Canadian?

Posted on October 17, 2010 by mike

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.  The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet.  It’s funny, as well as informative.

———————————

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law.  I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.  When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly state it to be an abomination … End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations.  A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.  Can you clarify?  Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.  In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24.  The problem is how do I tell?  I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9.  The problem is my neighbors.  They claim the odor is not pleasing to them.  Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.  Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.  Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.  I don’t agree.  Can you settle this?  Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight.  I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.  Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27.  How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves

10. My uncle has a farm.  He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).  He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.  Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.  Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.
James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia

Posted in Life, Philosophy | Leave a comment

Mexico City

Posted on September 9, 2010 by mike

I went to Mexico City for global help desk harmonization where Merck took over IT support for the former Schering-Plough Corporation.  Here’s a video I made sightseeing Mexico City the day after I got there.  It was the only opportunity I had to take any video, just too darn busy!  For those seeing this post on Facebook, please go to http://www.starthan.net


Posted in Trips, Work | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Educational Computing Comes Home

Posted on July 21, 2010 by mike

This is an article snipped from a 1985 article from Ziff Davis’s Family Computing Magazine.

BY SALLY REED

Michael Bernstein was not always a morning person.  How many 12-year-olds are? 

Continue reading →

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