This past weekend, which I consider my “birthday weekend” by best friend Neil flew in from Indiana.  For those that know me, I like to track the flights of my various friends, especially if they’re flying out to see me.  Whenever Neil comes in, when the plane is crossing over the border to western Pennsylvania, I leave for the airport.  The past two times I was there before or just as the plane lands.  This time since it was rush hour I was in the typical I-287 bottleneck.  About 3 miles from the airport I get a text from Neil saying he’s on the tarmac.  I try to call him but of course for some reason my car didn’t feel like seeing my iPhone on that drive.  Needless to say, Neil was waiting for me.  Driving back, somehow I missed the turnoff for route 1&9 and ended up on the Turnpike.  This turned out to be a happy, $1.10 accident since the drive back felt a lot faster.  We got back, had some snacks (cheese and crackers and some hoer d’oeuvres).  We chatted for a while and then went to The Den which I was curious to check out.  Neil had a few beers, being the driver, I only had one.  I took a little video from the club (see video below) we went home at around 1:30 AM.

Friday was a pretty open day since we had the club at night.  I let Neil drive my car (he likes it) and then we went to Perkins for brunch.  Afterwards we drove to Port Reading where I grew up.  I showed Neil my childhood home and gave him a tour of Port Reading and Woodbridge.  We drove down Main Street and went to Woodbridge Center.  We did some clothes shopping (Neil picked out some very nice shirts for me) and came back and watched 17 Again.  In the evening we went to The Stress Factory comedy club.  We got seats right at the stage (our table was a Ms. Pac-Man video game machine) and saw Tommy Davidson who was quite funny (and shook Neil’s hand after his performance).

Saturday was our trip to Philadelphia to the Franklin Institute.  Despite driving in a storm that was to give us the equivalent of the entire month’s rainfall in three days, the 75 minute trip was uneventful, with the exception of having to drive a few blocks to get back to the museum’s parking lot.  We got tickets for the special exhibit, Body Worlds 2.  This exhibit was absolutely great.  We also saw an IMAX movie called, “The Human Body” which was terrific.  For lunch we had Philly cheese steaks at the museum (too rainy to go out to find them elsewhere).  I wish our drive home was as good as our drive to Philadelphia.  Our first sign of trouble is when we crossed the Ben Franklin Bridge back to New Jersey.  The road we were supposed to take that gets us back to the New Jersey Turnpike was closed.  The GPS in my 2009 Honda Accord never skipped a beat and took us onto I-676 and a few slightly flooded side roads and got us onto the Turnpike somewhere near Marlton, NJ.  We were cruising up the Turnpike in the worst monsoon you could imagine but since there were no cars we were going at an even 65 MPH.  Then we got to one mile before exit 6 and we stopped…for three hours.  We moved two miles in that time period.  It later turned out there were debris on the roadway that shut down the Turnpike and caused a three mile backup.  During this time Neil got productive.  He did some banking, did a lot of research for AT&T U-Verse and scheduled an install for his new place.  He tried to cancel Comcast, but it is too early in their system to do so.  We finally get free of the traffic jam just to find that most of the roads in Piscataway are closed due to flooding.  I took a back route home which, luckily wasn’t flooded.  On a drive that should took 70 minutes, we finally get home four hours later.  We had a pretty good dinner at Pizza & Pasta which was a two minute walk for us.  While we had planned to go to The Den again that evening, we couldn’t due to all the road closures.  We watched The Watchmen instead.

Sunday was another open day.  We went to the diner next to the Menlo Park Mall for breakfast and then we went shopping.  Neil got some really nice clothes and sneakers and I got myself the most expensive (and most comfortable) pair of jeans I’ve ever owned.  We saw Alice In Wonderland (not in 3D) which Neil had seen before but was willing to see again.  We both thought it was a great movie.  We then went to Best Buy and Neil got Final Fantasy XIII.  For dinner we went to the brand new Olive Garden in my town of Piscataway.  We went back home where Neil proceeded to play FF XIII for the next 5 hours.

Monday was “so long for now.”  I drove Neil to the airport where we had a fast food breakfast.  Gave Neil a hug and at 10:37 AM said goodbye.  I look forward to seeing him again in Indiana and checking out his new apartment sometime in June.

My best friend, whose friendship, while not too long ago seemed to have hit an end is better and closer than ever.  I feel blessed every waking moment to have such a great confidant, friend, caring, sweet, fun and lovable buddy who is family to me.  Hey, I’m adopted (I have the best parents in the world) so why can’t the adopted adopt?  Said friend is visiting me here in New Jersey and is zonked out on the couch as I write this posting.  Should he ever wake up, much adventure lies before us, despite the rainy weather that is in the forecast for this weekend.

In a few days I shall have a birthday.  I truly do not feel 38, especially since I write this, I’m still 37.  I think having friends who keep your spirits up and is willing to go on adventures helps one feel young.  All I know is, this “birthday weekend” so far, has been the best one I’ve ever had and it is all because of one, great friend.  If you are lucky enough to have such a friend in your life, as the theme song goes, tell them “thank you for being a friend.”

First a look back.

2009, I admit wasn’t one of the best years of my life. In early January, one of my closest friends lost his father. As a friend who lived a large distance away, I felt helpless in trying to comfort him. Having (thankfully) not experienced this myself, I did not know what to do. The following week, when I flew out to see him (a pre-planned trip) I discovered that my friend was far more resilient than I thought. Though the focus of the trip was to take his mind off of things, I discovered he didn’t need it. Later in the year I saw this friendship erode and end on September 18th for what I believed to be forever (he made it quite clear to me that this was to be the case).

Professionally, there were disappointments, to say the least. March 3 will always be a day I wish to forget but will remember for a long time. I discovered a new side of someone who works at the same company I do, a side I didn’t like. When others were told, some were extremely surprised while others reactions were, “yeah, I know.” Also another person who is very close to me continued to feel the full force and fury of our economic downturn and I could do nothing but provide moral, sympathetic support. He is still battling that storm, whose end, while not apparent, hopefully will come soon.

There were a lot of good things that happened in 2009. First, and most importantly, my mom’s cancer went into remission. She ended her treatments and even got to do something she never thought she would be able to do ever again, travel. Secondly, my dad regained the ability to drive at night. My parents got to enjoy freedoms once thought lost forever and for me, I think that’s a great thing! We also got to celebrate my parent’s 50th anniversary.

I got to travel to a place I’ve never been to before–Chicago the land of Obama (yeah, someone named Abe is also from that state). Yes, I’ve been to O’Hare earlier in my life, but I don’t get to count that. Despite the rain and nasty weather I had a great time walking around the city.

I also got to attend my first Defcon in Las Vegas. It was my first “Geek convention” and I found it fascinating. In November I got to do something for the third year in a row, turn a “virtual” friend into an “in real life” friend, someone I have known for six years. This was, by far, the best trip to Las Vegas I’ve ever had and certainly one of my favorite vacations of all time.

One of the nicest surprises of my life happened on December 16. That friendship, that I thought was over forever had a rebirth.  Let’s call this “friendship 2.0.” Someone once told me, “fortune favors the bold.”  I got bold and decided to reach out to the friend and he responded with kindness.  While I wouldn’t say the friendship is the same as it once was, it is still a good friendship and there is no one that knows me better than he does. I know he is a friend whom I trust and value any and all advice he can give me.

Professionally, right at the end of the year something nice happened. No, it wasn’t from the person I work with, but a peer of this person. I got an “Award For Excellence” for a project I was on. That one, single act restored my faith that there are truly appreciative people at the company I work for. Until that time, I simply relied upon myself for motivation (though my support lead also helped a lot). I am a self-motivated person, but it is always good when others help out. I can only hope my “friend 2.0″ person learns and masters this skill–let’s call it “level 81″ to use a World of Warcraft term.

A look ahead.

What will 2010 bring? Your guess is as good as mine. I hope “friend 2.0″ continues on it’s successful journey.  I wonder what a service pack would look like?

Professionally, I am more optimistic than ever. I think this year when March comes around and a “look back” is done it will be better than 2009. I do hope that despite the merger and a thinning of the workforce, I will remain with the company. My job is evolving and I plan to evolve with it.

If all goes as planned, 2010 will be the fourth year in a row that I turn a virtual friend into a real life one. I look forward to seeing my friend of 19 years when I hopefully travel to Milan in June. I also hope another friend of mine from a kingdom across the ocean will also visit, but if not, maybe 2011 will be the fifth year in a row (neat, a half decade of turning virtual friends into real life ones).

I remain optimistic for myself, my family and my friends.

Again, happy new year!

Life moves at such a fast pace that it seems to pass us by before we can really enjoy it.

However, it doesn’t have to be this way. Let’s rebel against a hectic lifestyle and slow down to enjoy life.

A slower-paced life means making time to enjoy your mornings, instead of rushing off to work in a frenzy. It means taking time to enjoy whatever you’re doing, to appreciate the outdoors, to actually focus on whoever you’re talking to or spending time with — instead of always being connected to a Blackberry or iPhone or laptop, instead of always thinking about work tasks and emails. It means single-tasking rather than switching between a multitude of tasks and focusing on none of them.

Slowing down is a conscious choice, and not always an easy one, but it leads to a greater appreciation for life and a greater level of happiness.

Here’s how to do it.

1. Do less. It’s hard to slow down when you are trying to do a million things. Instead, make the conscious choice to do less. Focus on what’s really important, what really needs to be done, and let go of the rest. Put space between tasks and appointments, so you can move through your days at a more leisurely pace. Read more.

2. Be present. It’s not enough to just slow down — you need to actually be mindful of whatever you’re doing at the moment. That means, when you find yourself thinking about something you need to do, or something that’s already happened, or something that might happen … gently bring yourself back to the present moment. Focus on what’s going on right now. On your actions, on your environment, on others around you. This takes practice but is essential.

3. Disconnect. Don’t always be connected. If you carry around an iPhone or Blackberry or other mobile device, shut it off. Better yet, learn to leave it behind when possible. If you work on a computer most of the day, have times when you disconnect so you can focus on other things. Being connected all the time means we’re subject to interruptions, we’re constantly stressed about information coming in, we are at the mercy of the demands of others. It’s hard to slow down when you’re always checking new messages coming in.

4. Focus on people. Too often we spend time with friends and family, or meet with colleagues, and we’re not really there with them. We talk to them but are distracted by devices. We are there, but our minds are on things we need to do. We listen, but we’re really thinking about ourselves and what we want to say. None of us are immune to this, but with conscious effort you can shut off the outside world and just be present with the person you’re with. This means that just a little time spent with your family and friends can go a long way — a much more effective use of your time, by the way. It means we really connect with people rather than just meeting with them.

5. Appreciate nature. Many of us are shut in our homes and offices and cars and trains most of the time, and rarely do we get the chance to go outside. And often even when people are outside, they’re talking on their cell phones. Instead, take the time to go outside and really observe nature, take a deep breath of fresh air, enjoy the serenity of water and greenery. Exercise outdoors when you can, or find other outdoor activities to enjoy such as nature walks, hiking, swimming, etc. Feel the sensations of water and wind and earth against your skin. Try to do this daily — by yourself or with loved ones.

6. Eat slower. Instead of cramming food down our throats as quickly as possible — leading to overeating and a lack of enjoyment of our food — learn to eat slowly. Be mindful of each bite. Appreciate the flavors and textures. Eating slowly has the double benefit of making you fuller on less food and making the food taste better. I suggest learning to eat more real food as well, with some great spices (instead of fat and salt and sugar and frying for flavor).

7. Drive slower. Speedy driving is a pretty prevalent habit in our fast-paced world, but it’s also responsible for a lot of traffic accidents, stress, and wasted fuel. Instead, make it a habit to slow down when you drive. Appreciate your surroundings. Make it a peaceful time to contemplate your life, and the things you’re passing. Driving will be more enjoyable, and much safer. You’ll use less fuel too.

8. Find pleasure in anything. This is related to being present, but taking it a step farther. Whatever you’re doing, be fully present … and also appreciate every aspect of it, and find the enjoyable aspects. For example, when washing dishes, instead of rushing through it as a boring chore to be finished quickly, really feel the sensations of the water, the suds, the dishes. It can really be an enjoyable task if you learn to see it that way. The same applies to other chores — washing the car, sweeping, dusting, laundry — and anything you do, actually. Life can be so much more enjoyable if you learn this simple habit.

9. Single-task. The opposite of multi-tasking. Focus on one thing at a time. When you feel the urge to switch to other tasks, pause, breathe, and pull yourself back. Read more.

10. Breathe. When you find yourself speeding up and stressing out, pause, and take a deep breath. Take a couple more. Really feel the air coming into your body, and feel the stress going out. By fully focusing on each breath, you bring yourself back to the present, and slow yourself down. It’s also nice to take a deep breath or two — do it now and see what I mean.